(This post was originally written about 3 weeks ago for those of you keeping track of Guppy's development)
Guppy is at a stage that's somewhere between an infant and a toddler. I have no idea where the actual line is between the two. Some people define a toddler as "a child who is learning to walk". However, the toddler stage apparently extends to about age 3. I know that there's a lot to walking, but does it really take two years more than when the child first starts learning to walk? Others define it as a child between ages 1 and 2.5 or between ages 1 and 3.
It seems that no one can agree on when exactly infancy ends and toddlery (is that a word?) begins. Doesn't really matter. At this point, at eleven months old, I'd put Guppy into an in between stage that I'll call infoddler. For the last three weeks or so, he's started to take steps walking (the most we'd counted was 7 at once and it was only a couple times a day that he'd do it). Is that considered a toddler? Nope, again, I'm sticking to my guns and calling him an infoddler.
Lim went away for the weekend, crushing our record of being alone with each other, going from about 4 hours to 48 hours, and came back Sunday afternoon. Guppy seemed indifferent towards seeing her when she got home - something that I'm sure is a letdown for any parent. After a few hours, I started cooking dinner upstairs while Lim and Guppy went downstairs to play (we have a large finished basement that is perfect for someone just learning to roll/crawl/walk).
From upstairs, all I could hear were squeals of joy. Usually, this means that Guppy has accomplished something nefarius and wants us to know it. In this case though, I could also hear Lim saying, "Good job, Guppy!"
I went downstairs to investigate and found out that within an hour he had gone from a general ambivalence towards his mother and 7 steps at a time to a huge grin for Lim and as many steps as he could manage before hitting his equivalent of a land mine, attempting to traverse the room to his mom and then to elsewhere. The general steps he would follow would be:
*) Find vertical surface to pull self up
*) Walk forward, squealing, until tripping over something
*) Utter protest
*) Repeat steps 1 thorugh 3 until getting to Mom
*) Crawl/Walk to other side of room and begin again
Lim and I started talking about it and figured out one of the scariest scenarios possible. Imagine an army of infoddlers. Thousands of small creatures squealing their way towards you; arms held above their heads; hands holding toys in a death grip. And they're only in diapers decorated with Disney characters. How would you stop such a monstrosity? The only way would be with caltrops of toys. But no, that would just cause protests.
Don't believe me? Check the out the following video. The real scary part starts at around 20 second.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
The Adventures of Guppy and the Animals on the Changing Table
A while back, I read a short article on what toddlers and infants are actually thinking when they do something that you don't think is a good idea and why the react the way they do. For example, they may have found an outlet and want to show it to you. We groan and think that the kid should not be near the outlet and take them away from it. They think it's an amazing thing. Where do those holes go? What happens if something goes in there? Do Mommy and Daddy know about this?
I can't find the link for the article now, but it was a good read and made a lot of sense.
It stayed in the back of my mind and any time that Guppy makes an excited sound and looks expectantly at me as he holds up a box with a lid that he's just put on top of another box, I act excited back so that he knows that I'm supportive of his odd happiness. It also makes him think it's a good thing and he goes right back to doing it some more, allowing me to continue what I was doing before.
Last night it came to my mind that I was a total douche-hat to Guppy. We put him down for bed at about 8:30. At 8:45 he started screaming as if he was in pain or afraid. I went into his room, found his pacifier and gave it to him (9 times out of 10, that's what he's upset about). He responded by shoving the pacifer into his mouth and scurrying accross the crib mattress to the adjoined changing table, picking up two of his soothies on the way (a soothy if you don't know is a stuff animal head that's attached to a blanket - in this case, a bear and an elephant). He then stood up and put his elephant on the changing table, then took it off, put it on, took it off, etc.
I watched for about a minute and then began the struggle to get him to sleep. In my mind we had three options. I could pick him up and cuddle him until he fell asleep (this would probably take 30+ minutes as he see it as an opportunity to play). I could leave him to do his thing (he would probably start crying within 5 minutes and we would start all over again). Or I could try to lay him down and stop him from crawling/standing. I chose the third option.
I picked him up gently and laid him on his side. He scuttled over to the changing table and tried to stand up. I repeated laying him on his side. He started to crawl back to the changing table, so I put my hand on his legs and he could no longer move them, but he continue to struggle to get to the changing table. We continued this dance for about 5 minutes until I gave up. I said, "Good night Guppy." and left his room, closing the door behind me.
He cried out and continued screaming for about a minute as I went into my bedroom and told my wife I was going to give him a couple minutes to see if he'd calm down or I'd go in and try to rock him. Thankfully, he put himself to sleep. After lying in bed about 15 minutes or so, I rolled over and told my wife that I was a douchebag. She asked why and I related the story from his point of view:
Guppy at 8:20 - Oh good, boob juice. I was getting tired and this is just what I need to relax after a long day of cruising, picking things up, crawling, riding in a car -- mmmmm...
8:30 - Oh, Mom is leaving. I'm not tired NOW. I'll just lay here.
8:35 - Hey wait a second. Okay, I have this elephant and this bear. TAGS! (Guppy loves tags on things - blankets, stuffed animals, you name it...)
8:37 - Wait. Ho-lee shit. I am onto something here. That thing they put me on to change my diaper. I love it up there. ... Maybe elephant and bear will go up there too!
8:38 - Okay. So if I put this up there, it.. stays? That can't be right. Hold on. Let me try this again. I put this up there and it stays. My God. I'm a freaking genius. Who else knows about this? I can share this with the world. I'm going to do this just 20 more times to be sure I'm right.
8:42 Guppy crawls across the mattress to the side of the crib near the door, losing his pacifier on the way - Mom? Dad? [we hear the whining beginning from our room]. Hey guys? I don't mean to alarm you, but I just found out something that is fucking fantastic. Guys? Hellooooo?
8:45 - MOMMY!!! DADDY!!! ANIMALS!!! CHANGING TABLE!!! HEY! HEY! COME ON!!!
8:46 - Oh good! Daddy's here! I'm going to stand here for the pacifier ritual where he gives it back to me so I can put it in my mouth. Okay, now... where did I put those animals? Here we go. Dad! Look. At. This. (Guppy places elephant onto changing table). Take it in. Wait, let me show you again. (Guppy places elephant onto changing table again). Do you see this!? This is A-MAY-ZING. I don't know that you understand. This shit is crazy.
8:47 - Dad is laying me down on my side. He obviously didn't see what I just showed him. I'll just crawl-- wait, no, don't hold me down you silly man. Look at these animals. Ha! I got free! I'll just stand here-- He's putting me down again? Can't he see what these animals are doing when I put them on this table?
8:50 - (Dad says good night in his best "authoritative" voice) Wait. Did YOU just tell ME goodnight? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! THESE ARE FREAKING ANIMALS I'M PUTTING ON THE CHANGING TABLE OLD MAN!!! YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!! I'M JUST GOING TO DO IT *yawn* AGAIN! I WILL Put these animals onto *yawn* the tab--
I hope he dreamt of it all night. And I really hope I'm not just stunting his creativity. I mean... Animals on a changing table? Who woulda thunk it?
I can't find the link for the article now, but it was a good read and made a lot of sense.
It stayed in the back of my mind and any time that Guppy makes an excited sound and looks expectantly at me as he holds up a box with a lid that he's just put on top of another box, I act excited back so that he knows that I'm supportive of his odd happiness. It also makes him think it's a good thing and he goes right back to doing it some more, allowing me to continue what I was doing before.
Last night it came to my mind that I was a total douche-hat to Guppy. We put him down for bed at about 8:30. At 8:45 he started screaming as if he was in pain or afraid. I went into his room, found his pacifier and gave it to him (9 times out of 10, that's what he's upset about). He responded by shoving the pacifer into his mouth and scurrying accross the crib mattress to the adjoined changing table, picking up two of his soothies on the way (a soothy if you don't know is a stuff animal head that's attached to a blanket - in this case, a bear and an elephant). He then stood up and put his elephant on the changing table, then took it off, put it on, took it off, etc.
I watched for about a minute and then began the struggle to get him to sleep. In my mind we had three options. I could pick him up and cuddle him until he fell asleep (this would probably take 30+ minutes as he see it as an opportunity to play). I could leave him to do his thing (he would probably start crying within 5 minutes and we would start all over again). Or I could try to lay him down and stop him from crawling/standing. I chose the third option.
I picked him up gently and laid him on his side. He scuttled over to the changing table and tried to stand up. I repeated laying him on his side. He started to crawl back to the changing table, so I put my hand on his legs and he could no longer move them, but he continue to struggle to get to the changing table. We continued this dance for about 5 minutes until I gave up. I said, "Good night Guppy." and left his room, closing the door behind me.
He cried out and continued screaming for about a minute as I went into my bedroom and told my wife I was going to give him a couple minutes to see if he'd calm down or I'd go in and try to rock him. Thankfully, he put himself to sleep. After lying in bed about 15 minutes or so, I rolled over and told my wife that I was a douchebag. She asked why and I related the story from his point of view:
Guppy at 8:20 - Oh good, boob juice. I was getting tired and this is just what I need to relax after a long day of cruising, picking things up, crawling, riding in a car -- mmmmm...
8:30 - Oh, Mom is leaving. I'm not tired NOW. I'll just lay here.
8:35 - Hey wait a second. Okay, I have this elephant and this bear. TAGS! (Guppy loves tags on things - blankets, stuffed animals, you name it...)
8:37 - Wait. Ho-lee shit. I am onto something here. That thing they put me on to change my diaper. I love it up there. ... Maybe elephant and bear will go up there too!
8:38 - Okay. So if I put this up there, it.. stays? That can't be right. Hold on. Let me try this again. I put this up there and it stays. My God. I'm a freaking genius. Who else knows about this? I can share this with the world. I'm going to do this just 20 more times to be sure I'm right.
8:42 Guppy crawls across the mattress to the side of the crib near the door, losing his pacifier on the way - Mom? Dad? [we hear the whining beginning from our room]. Hey guys? I don't mean to alarm you, but I just found out something that is fucking fantastic. Guys? Hellooooo?
8:45 - MOMMY!!! DADDY!!! ANIMALS!!! CHANGING TABLE!!! HEY! HEY! COME ON!!!
8:46 - Oh good! Daddy's here! I'm going to stand here for the pacifier ritual where he gives it back to me so I can put it in my mouth. Okay, now... where did I put those animals? Here we go. Dad! Look. At. This. (Guppy places elephant onto changing table). Take it in. Wait, let me show you again. (Guppy places elephant onto changing table again). Do you see this!? This is A-MAY-ZING. I don't know that you understand. This shit is crazy.
8:47 - Dad is laying me down on my side. He obviously didn't see what I just showed him. I'll just crawl-- wait, no, don't hold me down you silly man. Look at these animals. Ha! I got free! I'll just stand here-- He's putting me down again? Can't he see what these animals are doing when I put them on this table?
8:50 - (Dad says good night in his best "authoritative" voice) Wait. Did YOU just tell ME goodnight? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! THESE ARE FREAKING ANIMALS I'M PUTTING ON THE CHANGING TABLE OLD MAN!!! YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!! I'M JUST GOING TO DO IT *yawn* AGAIN! I WILL Put these animals onto *yawn* the tab--
I hope he dreamt of it all night. And I really hope I'm not just stunting his creativity. I mean... Animals on a changing table? Who woulda thunk it?
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